


Hugs and Hisses

by DollyPop



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Snakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7170764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DollyPop/pseuds/DollyPop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snakes and mice and Stein and Marie standing on a desk whilst shrieking, oh my.</p>
<p>Or, the "I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/cockroach/snake" AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hugs and Hisses

When she heard the bellow, she almost fell out of her chair. Which would have been particularly unfortunate considering she’d been leaning back on it and would likely have brained herself on the metal frame of her bed. It was only her foot flying out at the last possible moment, catching her industrial strength lamp that prevented such a rather gruesome fate.

Though, at least, it meant she wouldn’t have to take her Poli Sci final.

Regardless, life spared, though it flashed before her eye, she could focus on the surprising shriek that nearly killed her in the first place, as well as the rather angry curses, many of them in a different language.

She blinked, ears straining, before she sighed. 

Of _course_ it would be coming from the dorm next door, the one that no one in their right mind would ever walk into. The place had been the designated dorm room of College Frat Boy Extraordinaire, Spirit Albarn, best known for doing 25 body shots off of 25 different bodies and having to have his stomach pumped, mid-party, by his nerdy best friend and roommate Frank Stein (often nicknamed Dank Stein for rather self explanatory reasons). Most people who wanted even a shred of normalcy in the day to day struggle of college life wanted to avoid having to risk the chances of walking in on Spirit Albarn going at it with some freshman girl whilst Stein did some weird science experiment in the hallway.

But, considering Mr. Womanizer had just swung by Marie’s dorm to pick her roommate, Kami, up for a date, those chances were zilch. And Spirit had practically pleaded for her to keep a heads up in case anything went on in the room. Apparently, three weeks ago, Spirit had come back to find out that Stein had filled Spirit’s closet with 43 live chinchillas and had videotaped the fallout.

It sounded like a fun time to Marie, but she certainly wasn’t going to voice her opinion. Especially when Spirit still smelled faintly of the rodents.

And, she supposes, hearing the usually stoic Stein passionately spitting German curses, something that sounded like “VERPISS DICH!” constituted as her having to keep her head up.

Cautiously, she stood up, creeping out of her room and into the hall. Looking around, it seemed as though everyone was either out, probably putting off studying for midterms, or in the tech rooms, studying in peace, or simply locking themselves away from the commotion. Marie sighed, slowly moving to the only open door, where she could hear clattering and more loud profanity, some in English, this time, and what sounded suspiciously like Hebrew,

“Um- Hello?” she asked, but it was far too quiet to be heard over his loud yelling. 

Fine. Time to bite the bullet. What was the worst that could happen, anyway? At least if she ended up dead, she wouldn’t have to go to the Gen Ed Science Class she’d put off for the past few years. Lordie, it was just her luck that she ended up with the hardass.

“Hey? Are you okay?” she asked, louder this time as she pushed the door open, and she could only blink incredulously at the sight before her.

Frank Stein was a large man. He was tall enough that he loomed over everyone and had to duck under doorways, and, despite being a massive nerd, he was intimidating to a lot of people (herself not included) and when he wore short sleeves, she could always make out the muscle definition on his arms.

_Not_ that she was looking.

So it was particularly comical that he was standing on his desk, his large feet gingerly placed around the papers he had strewn all over, and he turned to look at her, bewildered as she tiptoed over the mess to make her way closer to him.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “I heard-”

“What the fuck? What are you doing here?” he asked her, his shaggy gray hair in his eyes, and her brows furrowed.

“Uh…I heard a scream?”

“So you go toward it? You’d be the first to die in a horror movie.”

She made an offended noise as he looked at her, seemingly not noticing or caring how rude he was being.

“Hey! I was trying to help!”

“Help? Could you get that fucking snake out of here-”

“Snake?” Marie yelped, her heart beating harder just at the thought of it. “There’s a snake?”

“Right next to your foot-”

And, with that, she finally understood the position he was in, because without even a second thought, she clambered up his desk, knocking over three books and finally spotting the reptile on the floor.

Birds a feather, she supposed.

“Motherfucker!” she cursed. “That’s a goddamn boa!”

“Yeah?” Stein asked, the sarcasm ringing out. “I didn’t notice! Could you, oh, you know, not step on my hard work-”

“You’re scared of snakes?” she asked, her eye wide as she tried not to knock into him. As she did so, and before he had a chance to reply, she looked down and noticed the cage she was standing next to, her heartrate skyrocketing once more. “Are you serious?” she yowled, instinctively hopping away from the mice and barrelling right into his chest. They both wobbled on the desk, one of his arms coming around her shoulders for support and the other coming to the wall behind him, moving her to the side. “You have mice, too? I hate mice!”

“They’re part of my thesis work- which you are currently stepping on,” he remarked, and she looked down, noticing the way she’d been standing upon some paper, almost ripping the sheet with her foot, and she opened her mouth to apologize, feeling his arm come away from her shoulders before she let loose a small squeak as he, rather literally, swept her off her feet.

Her mouth popped open, her legs dangling in the air as he held her up and against him with just one arm around her waist, and there was no strain evident on his face at all. He had picked her up with seemingly no effort at all.

Damn. Nerd boy must _lift_. Her…erm, observations regarding his arms were certainly proven.

Her mouth went dry as she was suddenly able to look into his green, green eyes.

“There,” he said,  Now my research is-”

“My name’s Marie,” she butt in, blinking at him and biting her lip when she realized that she’d just cut him off mid sentence, and he stared at her blankly for a moment before his head tilted to the side.

“You’re weird,” he remarked, and the offense bubbled in her chest before she noticed his lips tip up. “I can appreciate that.”

“Oh?” she said, still somewhat dazed, her feet swinging in the air. “Uh, I’m- um, I’m glad.”

“I thought you were ‘Marie’.”

At that, she groaned, rolling her singular eye and listening to him chuckle. “Ugh, did you just make a dad joke? In the middle of a crisis?”

“They’re a work of art,” he defended.

“Oh, yeah. Real hiss-terical.”

“…did you just-”

“Steeeeeiiiiiiin,” a voice purred out, and both of them turned to look at the open door just as another woman began to walk into the dorm. She felt him shudder against her, the groan in his throat rumbling through his chest, and it was odd that it send such a pleasant shiver up her spine. “Have you seen Bo…Bo…? And who, may I ask, is _this_?” 

The chill was unmistakable, and this time, it was Marie who shuddered against him. 

Melissa. Better known as Medusa. Or, sometimes, Maleficent, was colder than an arctic tundra and half as pleasant to be around. BoBo, Marie assumed, was the snake currently twining around the chair’s legs. 

Why was she not surprised?

It was no secret that Melissa’s been hunting after Stein for the better part of three years, Marie just didn’t know the woman was THAT desperate that she’d try to, rather literally, scare him into some kind of weird, warped relationship.

“Your demon is under the desk,” Stein spat out, his gentle green eyes hardening and narrowing until they were unapproachable. “Again.”

But Melissa only kept her eyes on Marie, namely, Marie’s waist, where Stein’s arm was wrapped around her, securing her so that she was cradled against him. 

“…I hope I wasn’t… _interrupting_ …anything?” she asked, and it felt more like a threat than anything else. Marie curled her hand over Stein’s shoulder, but otherwise didn’t back down from Melissa’s icy stare.

“Actually,” she said, surprising everyone in the room, “we were studying.”

“…studying.”

“Mmmm.”

“Oh, Stein, darling, you know _I_ can help you. I’ve made Dean’s List every semester for three years. Unlike some people,” she commented, staring at Marie with derision as Marie glared, watching as BoBo slithered over to the woman and Stein could relax slightly.

“It’s a class we don’t share, Melissa.”

“Oh?” she said, sounding more than affronted at the fact that he didn’t acknowledge her accomplishments.

“Yeah,” Marie butt in, just wanting the woman to leave, and Stein looked at her as Melissa glared. “Human Anatomy and Sexuality.” After a beat, and an incredulous look from the snake wielding viper, Marie added: “Advanced placement.”

Stein snorted, the laughter reverberating through him and through her both as Melissa’s lips curled in disgust and she promptly whirled around, huffing as she stomped out of the dorm. Marie didn’t even wait for the sound of the other woman’s door slamming before she burst into giggles and Stein slowly eased her down, setting her onto the now snake-free floor. 

She was grinning at him by the time he’d clambered down, and she could fully see and appreciate the massive height difference they had. Before the air could become stifled and awkward, Stein smiled at her lazily.

“Hypothetically, what would be the situation if I were to need…tutoring in such a class?”

Marie giggled once more, her smile widening. “Hmmm, hypothetically? Well,” Marie started, batting her eyelashes up at him as she went to straighten his collar, brushing her fingers over his throat just as he leaned down and in, his eyebrow raised playfully. “I’m pretty exclusive…but, all things considering, I’d be happy to.”


End file.
